Thursday, March 27, 2014

Moses issues 10 Commandments on eLearning (on tablets)

Hot news. Moses has had enough of all of these bibles (print), preaching (teaching) and sermons (lectures). 
However, he’s really pissed at all of those evangelists who use technology in learning. 
Didn’t Adam, in Genesis, have a bad experience with Apple? So now that everyone has a tablet, he’s decided to issue a new set of commandments:
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me except ‘courses’.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven stock images that vaguely reflect the block of text next to them on the screen.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain and ask stupid MC questions that place any of his many names next to obviously false Gods.
4. Remember the sabbath summative test, to keep it holy. Six modules shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh is the summative test that relies simply on short-term memory to recall knowledge, so is soon forgotten.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother by stating the paternal and maternal objectives of your course up front, thereby boring your learners to death on the first screen.
6. Thou shalt not kill Kirkpatrick, even though it is a useless method of evaluation and nobody gets near Level 4 as they’re too busy designing happy sheets.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery and use methods of eLearning other than endless screens of text and graphics.
8. Thou shalt not steal stuff from various sources, call it curation, and bash it out on screen after screen until the learner loses the will to live.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor and claim that your eLearning is special, because it has ‘simulations’ (cartoons with speech bubbles), works on all mobile devices (it won’t), has adaptive learning (try again on MC questions) or deep learning (supplementary PDFs and links to Wikipedia pages).

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s mouse, and pretend to do eLearning by clicking through and using that time to do things on your mobile phone. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife’s answers, nor his manservant’s answers, nor his maidservant’s answers, nor his ox, nor his ass (especially not his ass as he may react badly).

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